Pamanhikan: Bringing Back a Beautiful Filipino Tradition

If you are Filipino, you know what pamanhikan, pamayi, hatud, sayud is or at least have heard of it. But, what is really pamanhikan.

What is Pamanhikan?

Pamanhikan is a beautiful Filipino tradition, where a man and his family visit his future bride’s family in order to formally ask her hand for marriage and discuss the wedding plans.

Pamanhikan

What do I know about Pamanhikan?

The groom to be with his family and closest relatives and friends brings food and visits the house of his soon to be wife to formally ask her hand for marriage and discuss the wedding plan details.

The Millennial Pamanhikan

The couple invites both their families for a lunch or dinner in a restaurant to discuss their wedding plans. This usually last for 3 hours max.

My Pamanhikan Story

Babe and I love traditions, even though we may not live in some of it. We believe that traditions mark us of who we are.  Pamanhikan is one of those dying Filipino traditions that we hope to bring back along with “pagmano pr pagbless”

We already have plans on getting married. Started saving up and contacting some people. We need to make it official, thus the pamanhikan – it is what it is for.

What to do during pamanhikan

Babe is from Cebu and I am from Bohol. Basically more or less 188.5km or 117 miles away from each other. But God works in mysterious ways so here we are a couple for 10 years and getting married soon.

Babe and I are anxious for pamanhikan. We have been searching online for weeks on what to do and reminiscing the times we have attended a pamanhikan, but there is no step by step rule or flow of the event. I have contacted several videographers and photographers for the event and all of them asks what pamanhikan is? What is the flow? Etc. So we do not know exactly what to expect on that day.

How to of pamanhikan

2 weeks before pamanhikan babe and I are busy buying tickets for his family and close friends, booking a place for them to stay, book for cater, and book a videographer and photographer to capture the moment. All expenses except video and photo are paid by babe. Video and photo is from the wedding savings

What did we expect to happen on pamanhikan?

Day 1- June 10, 2017
11:30am Babe’s family arrival in resort
12:00pm Babe family arrival at home
Talk for a while
Eat
Talk some more
4:00pm Babe family back to resort to rest
7:00pm Babe family back to house for dinner
Talk for a while
9:00pm Back to resort to sleep
Day 2 June 11, 2017
7:00am Breakfast
9:00am Start Bohol Tour for both family
5:00pm Early dinner
6:00pm Babe’s family depart to Cebu

 

 

Filipino Tradition Pamanhikan

What exactly happen during pamanhikan?

Day 1- June 10, 2017
11:45am Babe’s family arrival in resort (freshen up)
Babe’s family quick photo shoot
Babe’s interview for the video
1:00pm Babe’s family arrival at home
Introduce each other
Uncle Jun started to talk about the reason why they visited
1:45pm Lunch
2:15pm Back to sitting and talk
Uncle Jun (babe’s uncle) back talking about the intention of the visit
Tatay (babe’s father) seconded the intention
Nanay (babe’s mom) Shares her sentiments
Mama (my mom) Shares her sentiments and accepted the intention
Mama Nit (my aunty) Shares her sentiments and accepted the intention
Aunty Ner (my aunty) Shares her sentiments and accepted the intention
Babe show a video (I did not expect this)
Babe formally proposed (I totally did not expect this)
Babe and I discuss the wedding plans
Chit chat some more of both families
4:00pm Babe family back to resort to rest
Babe and friends remain to eat lamaw with family (coconut juice)
5:00pm Babe and friends left to resort to rest
7:30pm Babe and family back at the house for dinner
Exchange some more chitchats
9:00pm Babe and family back to resort to sleep
I, together with sister and close friends go to the resort
Both set of friends mini pool party
1:00am Me, younger sister and friends went home
Day 2 – June 11, 2017
10:00am Me, mama, younger sis and close friends went to the resort
We brought snacks (cooked banana and sweet pototato)
Hang in the pool side- mama talking to babes family
11:30am Team Buktot and Avengers cooked lunch
1:00pm Lunch
1:30pm Prepare for checkout
2:00pm Checkout
Off to Tagbilaran and buy Pasalubong
4:00pm Arrival in Tagbilaran
5:00pm Babe family departs Tagbilaran

 

My Pamanhikan Story

The Beauty or Advantages of Pamanhikan

  1. Bringing the two family together. When you become a couple, you will become a one entity. So it is just likely to bring also both your family together.
  2. Both families will be closer even before wedding day. On the wedding day it is not just you and your family but there are your relatives and your friends, not to mention the wedding crashers. There is a little amount of time for them to talk and get along. But during the pamanhikan, it is the perfect time for both your family to bond and talk. Both families can share memories all day long. Just like what our families did.Advantages of pamanhikan
  3. Get together of the closest people around you. Aside from family, your best friends will also be there during pamanhikan. They won’t miss it for anything. It is the right time to introduce your friemily (friends that are already family). Your closest friends is there from the start of your relationship. They are your crying shoulders and tequila-mates in times of relationship mishaps. Introducing them to one another would create a solid support group.Who to invite during pamanhikan
  4. Makes the wedding more enjoyable. Since your family and closest friends have already met then there is no more awkward meet and greet during the wedding day. Everyone is already at ease with one another and is game for what is up to during the special day.
  5. Both your families will get to know each other. Time and communication is always of the essence for every relationship. May it be romance, friendly or other. During the pamanhikan both families will have enough time to talk to each other, bringing them closer.Getting to know each other through pamanhikan

From babe’s Facebook post

Pamanhikan to formally announce that we are getting married

Special thanks to these amazing peeps:

¦¦ Tiyo Jun, Tiya Babie, and Vince. ¦¦

One of the very few people that I personally look up to — thanks for leading the ‘pamanhikan’ pack, Uncle Jun. Excited to see the rest of Enteng’s bloodline soon, the powerful streetsmart lineage. respect!

¦¦ My “Addams” family ¦¦

Each of your weird attributes created the monster in me! haha! It was a proud moment to present our diversity to Gzel’s family. Tata Inday and Lunday family missing in action for now. 🙂

¦¦ To Langging’s family ¦¦

Tita Golong (labyu Tita, hehe), Ate Maria Dalisay (labyu ate, hehe), Papa Jun, Auntie Ner, Mama Nit and Kuya Cecil. Getting the elder Octubre siblings together on this day made the difference for me. Tapangans came unrepresented, but I know Tito Em was there to witness it, happy and proud as it was his birthday also — hope to see the rest of TapTweens and TapWangs soon!..

¦¦ Gnez ¦¦

for keeping the ring safely before the big moment. Salamat sa ninja moves, Nez!

¦¦ Team Buktot: Binot and Meldong ¦¦

I hope to repay your services in the future, thank you for the molar support and salamat sa cash! haha!

¦ Andrew for being our official photographer during the travels. WALA KA-ATTEND last Sat so walai lami!

¦ Mojo for his ‘useless’ post-analysis of the tradition — absent kay “busy” ug facebook. Please make your absence worth it, Mogz. Just hustle baby!!!

¦¦ Canjulao’s Avengers ¦¦

World’s best neighbors — Aploy, Yaye and MykTim “daw”. Mga lupon.. disco-gala ta puhon, larga kuradang!

¦¦ Jinzo, TJ, and Alfie ¦¦

For capturing this moment. How can we fail if its never been done before, right? Disrupt! Nothing but upside, awesome work!

¦¦ Fisca Plyder ¦¦

aka Clark Kent, for handling the t-shirt prints!..

Pamanhikan is a lovely Filipino tradition that I hope the new generation will still celebrate. As for my experience, the joy on that day June 10, 2017 is priceless. Seeing both our families together on that day is irreplaceable.

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*All photos from TJ Medrana Photography. Bohol’s Top Photographer